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How to Find a Great Stepmom Therapist

You may have realized that you’re struggling right now in your role as a stepmom, but you’re not quite sure where to start as far as reaching out for support.  You may wonder, am I struggling with something like stress, overwhelm, or depression?  Does this have something to do with being in a blended family?  In what way is my role as a stepmom impacting my mental health?  It’s easy to feel lost when you know you need help but have no idea where to start.  There are a lot of considerations when seeking a great stepmom therapist.  Below are just some of the things you may want to consider as you seek out support for yourself in your stepparenting journey. 

1) Do a Google Search

I know, this one seems really simple, but it’s often a good place to start.  If you start with something generic like “depression” or “anxiety,” know these are words that makes it onto almost every therapist’s list of specialties i.e. “I treat depression, anxiety, etc,” so you’ll want to dig into their website or schedule an initial phone call to really understand what their experience is in treating adults who are stepmoms.  You’re looking for examples of where they’ve worked with adults who are in blended families.  Do they mention anything about blended families, stepfamilies, or co-parenting?  If so, there’s a high likelihood they have experience, which could help you as you navigate your role as a stepmom.  You’re wanting to find out if they’re just saying they treat depression in adults or if they’ve actually treated stepmoms struggling with depression.  You deserve to have a therapist who knows what they’re doing, and you have the opportunity to make sure, by doing your research.  

2)  Ask around

It’s amazing how many people have used therapists, once you start talking to people you know.  It’s up to you how much you want to share about what’s going on with you.  After all, it’s your information and your life.  You could check with friends, work colleagues, or a family member.  Other professionals like physicians, holistic practitioners, and dentists also likely have a network of providers in the community they can recommend.  Do you know who talks to a ton of people?  A barber or hairstylist.  I often find people in those roles know a lot about local resources and may be able to give you a name or recommendation.  It can be hard to admit you’re struggling, and at the same time, you likely want to find the best fit available.  Trust you’ll be received with kindness and compassion and keep the bigger picture in mind of finding the right fit stepmom therapist for you.  

3) Explore What Type of Treatment You May Benefit From

Virginia Satir, an American psychologist, and writer learned there are more than 250 ways to wash dishes depending on the method and ingredients used.  Similarly there are a ton of different ways to treat issues that could be related to your role as a stepmom.  It may help for you to get clear on what type of help may be most beneficial.  Are you struggling with symptoms of anxiety or depression, which is causing conflict in your relationships, low self-esteem, or physical distress?  You may need a therapist who can engage in skill-building with you.  Have you experienced adversity earlier in their life and need support processing some of those experiences or exploring how you adapted to those experiences and how those patterns of interacting are impacting you today?  You may need someone who is trained in adversity and building resilience.  The more you can clarify what’s going on and what you want support with, the easier it will be for you to narrow down the options for finding a great stepmom therapist.  If you have no idea or you’re overwhelmed, that’s okay too.  When you do the introductory call with a therapist, you’ll get a good sense of their style, and if you connect with them, then you can go from there. 

4)  Go on Social Media

This is not always something I recommend, but in the case of learning about resources, social media is great.  Platforms like TikTok or Instagram typically use your location to help match you with folx to follow, so typing in hashtags related to stepparenthood, stepparenting, blended family life, or being a stepmom into the search bar, you’re likely to find a lot of great resources, many of which will be local to you.  Some of my favorite hashtags are: #stepparents #stepparenting #stepmom #stepmomsupport #stepmomlife #stepparentstruggles #stepparentingadvice.  By following any of those hashtags on the social media platform of your choice, you’ll see, #1) you aren’t alone and #2) learn about experts in this space who can point you in the right direction as you’re looking for your own support.  And if you’re someone who likes to post on social media by telling your own story of being a stepmom, you’ll likely help others who are struggling too.  A word of caution, if you do post about your stepparenting journey.  Remember, social media is public in most cases, so make sure you would be comfortable with your spouse, stepchildren, and their other parent seeing your content.  

5) Call an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

If you or your spouse are privileged enough to work for a company or organization that has an EAP, this is a fantastic resource for talking through your issues and getting the right support.  If you’re not familiar with EAPs, they’re basically a perk some companies offer to support the humans that are working for them, as they go through tough things, which may be impacting their work.  Services can vary widely from assessments, short-term counseling, wellness coaching, and more.  Many EAPs contract with therapists like me to fund a set number of therapy sessions for the employee or a family member.  It could be anywhere from five to twenty-four sessions depending on the company and the EAP.  If you think this may be an option, check with your EAP or ask your spouse if they have one and give them a call.  I contract with an EAP called Lyra Health, which makes it super simple to reach out for support and find a therapist in your area who can help you with what you’re going through.  

6) Look at an Online Directory

There are a lot of great, inclusive, affirmative online directories now for therapists.  One I use is Therapy Den.  Their goal is to help you find the right therapist for you.  You can start by entering a specialty (i.e. co-parenting), entering your zip code, then selecting whether you’re looking to pay out of pocket or use insurance.  Once you’ve completed those fields, hit the search button and you’ll be taken to a list of results.  Would you like to search by other factors such as gender, ethnicity, or cost?  You can do that too.  Or maybe you want to search by the type of services i.e. individual, family, adolescent/teen, group, etc.  It’s a great resource as you’re exploring what will work for you.  When you complete the search, you’ll see a list of therapists, along with a map of where their practice is located and the distance from your zip code.  You’ll also be able to see if they offer online services and/or in-person services.  You can then click on the therapist’s profile to learn more about who the therapist serves, their background and approach, and personal beliefs and interests.  Their profile will tell you what specialized techniques they use in their treatment and what issues they specialize in treating as well as the insurance plans they accept and any particular faith orientation they serve.  By looking at this type of directory, you’ll get a feel for the therapist before you call to see if it’s someone you resonate with.  Then you can decide if you want to reach out to them via phone or through the contact form and go from there.  

In Conclusion…

As you can see, there are many different ways to find a great stepmom therapist.  Therapy is a highly personal experience, and it’s worth the extra effort upfront to find the right fit.  While it can be tedious, overwhelming, and exhausting at times, when it clicks, it clicks, and you will feel confident in the therapist’s ability to walk with you during this season of your life.  Finding the right fit therapist feels like hope.  You trust this person gets you and is able to support you as you navigate the turbulent waters of your stepmom journey.  

Ready to connect with me to see if I’m a good fit to help you move from resentful and hopeless stepmom to calm and balanced blended family member? 

Give me a call at 737-808-4888 for a FREE 15-minute consultation or fill out the secure contact form, and I’ll schedule a time to talk with you.  Getting unstuck comes from taking action and by reading this blog, and picking up the phone, you’re two steps closer to helping yourself move through this difficult experience in your life and find the humor and joy in your role as a stepmom.    

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